I had something really important I needed to do, and I wish I could tell you, but I will soon, I promise." Freddie leaned over the table and reached for her hands which she quickly withdrew."That's it?! That's your excuse?!" No… I mean," Freddie was stumbling over his words now, knowing he was on thin ice here, "you said it was too late for apologies and I agree. I fucked up royally and I admit that completely. I love you… and I promise you will understand soon… I just can't tell you right now."Jade was ready to bite his head off, but looking in his eyes, she could see his overwhelming sincerity- something she hadn't seen from him in nearly two weeks. "I can understand that you have secrets, but why did you let me wait for you, and ignore my texts and calls that night?" I never ignored anything. I meant what I said about being away from my phone. I was dealing with something, and by the time I got back, I felt it was too late to call or text so I waited until morning. Believe me, I. The person upon whom one coughs.2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.This one is.
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